Learning the Dutch way of life (2)

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Dutch way of life: Part 1

Work to live

I can talk about this for hours. Work life for the Dutch is like a different world altogether. Of course, my view is based on what I have seen and may be somewhat limited. But I was still amazed by it.

Summer evenings

I used to joke, ‘for the Dutch there is life and all the hobbies they want to pursue; in between when they have time, they work’ 😂. Or at least it felt like that. On the whole, most people 

prioritise their personal lives a lot more than in other cultures I have seen. Most people don't work long hours, are ok with taking a pay cut or slower career growth to have a better life, take long holidays and somehow did not seem to take their work as seriously as I was used to before. In fact, many times I felt that a lot of people finished their hours in office, and just left work at the workplace, not really going the extra mile (and hours) to make it better.

Taking breaks for personal tasks - going to see the doctor, getting a vaccine, shopping for household goods, getting haircuts, doing christmas shopping, meeting friends for lunch, doing child duties and so on - during the workday was quite normal. And somehow no one seemed to make up for that by working extra hours later. It was just acceptable to take time for personal things whenever needed. Of course, there were exceptions, but this way of working seemed to be the norm. (I noticed a lot more about the work culture in the Netherlands but would prefer not to list it all. Suffice to say, it was shocking for me to see this way of working).

Fall in the canals

For the rest, I loved that they did not believe much in hierarchy. In fact, I stopped saying the word ‘boss’ in the Netherlands, and started using the word ‘manager’ instead. People took a lot of holidays and were not embarrassed about it. Sabbaticals were very common. Part time work was very common. I loved experiencing all these ways to make work more flexible.

The rules around work life in the Netherlands also supported this way of working. A huge majority of the population works part time, with four days a week being much more common and acceptable than in the UK. Mental health is prioritised and mental health leave is quite common, where, in cases of work stress or burnout, an employee can get up to two years off, to recover from work related stress. The unemployment benefits are also quite generous here (I heard the government pays up to 70% of the last drawn salary in case of job loss, but haven’t confirmed it).

Lights at night

I also noticed something surprising. The Dutch keep their work and private life very separate . Going out for drinks and dinner with their colleagues is not as common as the Thursday evening work drinks in London. Overall, it was quite a journey for me to get used to the way of working in the Netherlands. But it was definitely a nice experience to be able to prioritise my personal life enough too.


Keeping things in line

The Dutch like rules and order. Most people make all their plans including social plans three months in advance (and I am not exaggerating!). In fact, all these plans are added to their calendars, and it’s close to impossible to find a free slot to meet someone closer to the day - they just flatly refuse, that I have no time! Eventually, I had to do the same and my calendar would also get booked in advance. Which is inevitable as if you don’t do that, you won't be able to be a part of the local calendar. Also, tickets for events and even restaurants get all booked out early. So planning in advance is the only option.

Amstel Park

The downside of course was when my Indian friends would visit Amsterdam and let me know only a few days in advance, it was tough even for me to find time to meet them 😂. This was also very different from Indian culture where even on the day, people are not ready to commit to meet 😂. London is a happy medium, we make plans one or two weeks in advance which feels a lot easier to manage.

Overall, there were benefits to having an organised life. People would always turn up, and on time - it was helpful. Some parts of it were funny too. If someone sent a dinner invitation from say 5-8 pm, at 8 pm, people would just get up and start leaving (I saw this happen so many times at office events and drinks!). It was really funny to notice this the first few times.

Sunny evenings

There were downsides to all this organised life too. I felt it was tough for the Dutch to accept last minute changes to plans. Of course it happened, but I always sensed a kind of discomfort when that was discussed. Breaking rules or changing plans once decided was tough for most. I have also heard stories about guests being asked to leave as it was time for their hosts’ dinner 😂. Imagine my shock when compared to India, where being invited at 5 pm means people can turn up at 8 pm and stay for as long as they wanted 😂. It was tough for me to straddle these different worlds.


Being direct

The Dutch are known to be very direct in their communication style, and that is quite true. They don't hold back what they think. And this is taught to them since childhood; to ask questions, be curious, and share their opinions. I however thought that what is called directness sometimes borders on rudeness, as there is a fine line between the two. Having lived in London for so long, I do value politeness and I found the Dutch way of communication could be a bit more considerate of other people than it currently is.

Summer views

Still it is quite commendable to see the level of honesty in the people, and the country. The Dutch are more open and accepting of their colonial history, the VOC (Dutch East India Company) and its role in the historical slave trade, than other European countries I have visited. I noticed this on my visits to the museums in Amsterdam.

In the exhibits, there were many paintings showcasing the colonial history of the country, with paintings portraying the lives of the people in the colonies more positively than it actually was. All such exhibits had explanatory notes posted next to them, accepting and highlighting the colonial past of the country, including some of the wrongs done by them. I respected them more for not whitewashing their entire history - it is commendable for a country to accept the realities of its past, accept the mistakes and move on.

Museumplein

The Dutch also question historical traditions quite often, discuss them openly and look for solutions. Another example of this is the traditional character of Black Piet which used to accompany Sinterklaas, the original Dutch Santa Claus. There have been discussions on him for years, how it made fun of the African people and their culture. And so they are increasingly being replaced by Sooty Piet.

I am not sure if it is linked to the directness or the practicality of the Dutch, but they are not known for expressing their emotions much. (I am not making it up, it has been confirmed by the insta content creators again 😂). They don't generally express a lot of joy and excitement about things, their reactions almost feel dry and flat. Initially, I had a tough time figuring out whether my team was happy or excited about events or not. Their reactions felt so emotionless sometimes, almost like the Nordics. Thankfully when I saw other insta creators face the same challenges, I realised it wasn’t just me who felt this way! And I just learnt to deal with it.


Driven by language

Summer time

I think I can go on for hours about the Dutch language. It is a tough language to learn, apparently with more exceptions to the rule than rules being followed 😂. Though it is the pronunciation that is just so hard to get right. It takes a long time to even hear the difference say, between the ‘oo’, ‘ou’, ‘uu’ and other similar combinations - speaking is a different matter altogether.

And interestingly, for the Dutch, if you say what you think is the right way to say something, but it isn’t, they just won't get it. The minor differences sound so much more different to them than to the untrained ear. Try asking someone for directions to the Van Gogh museum or telling someone that you visited Scheveningen or the Keukenhof Gardens. If you don’t get the pronunciation right, they will just not understand it, at all! Even if both ways of saying may sound the same to you 😂.

Beauty in the fall

Other than the pronunciation, there were also some words or phrases used in the Netherlands which surprised me a bit and took some time to get used to. For example, I always had to double check if the next week meant the current ongoing week or the next one 😂. Quite often my colleagues would use the terms 'week 18' or 'week 35' in discussions, a way of referring to weeks in the year that I had never come across before moving to the Netherlands. Also, when someone said 'the afternoon', they meant the time between 2 pm and 6 pm, very strictly! I was used to using the word 'evening' for any time after 4 pm, but that wasn’t allowed in the Netherlands 😂.

The translation of Dutch to English sometimes led to specific phrases being used differently than the English I was used to. Terms like ‘father of my wife’, instead of ‘my wife’s father’; ‘make a photo’ instead of take a photo’; ’ do sports, instead of ‘play sports’; pronouncing ‘ideas’ as ‘id’ - all this took time to get used to.

Nights in the fall

Also, the way the language is structured has also led to differences in behaviour. Apparently in Dutch, there are two words for family - familie and gezin - the close nuclear family and the extended family. I think that shows in how they are with their families too, the close family is different from the extended family. Interestingly, they also have different words for different kinds of shopping, the fun kind of shopping, winkelen and the everyday boring one, boodschappen doen. It was interesting to know shopping could also be of different types.


Quirky habits and traditions

There were many other interesting quirks about the Dutch which I noticed over the course of the four years in the Netherlands. I am listing a few here.

Summer time

Interestingly, whenever at work we would introduce ourselves, my Dutch colleagues mostly stated their age right after their names. I found that unusual. And when I asked a colleague about it, she said, yes that’s expected and normal. Either way, I never gave in to this trend. Also discussing haircuts and hairdressers frequently at work was something I found unusual. The Dutch favourite pastime is supposed to be complaining. To be honest, there was a bit of it but I didn't notice it as being too much. Anyways the complaining felt quite jovial most of the time. Also the Dutch congratulate not just the person whose birthday it is, but the whole family too! And personalised gifts on birthdays are quite important. They all felt like very unique traditions.

Cute rides

I found driving in Central Amsterdam a nightmare - the narrow criss-crossing roads, the aggressive cyclists, and the risk of the car falling into the canal 😂. The canal was always like a risk in my mind, seeing the cars parked just inches away from them was so scary. I did park like that a few times but my heart would be pounding at such moments. It was tough! Thankfully I had the option of cycling in the city, and avoided driving there, it helped immensely. In Amsterdam, you will also notice this small little electric car zipping on the roads. Its so cute, and very popular. It seats two, is electricity run, can be parked easily anywhere, protects from the rain and is allowed to drive in the cycle lane. I think it’s like the covered cycle for the Dutch and everyone who visited the city loved seeing it.

The Dutch have one of the best road infrastructure in the world, with many multi lane highways (often with 6-10 lanes), straight and flat roads, and it would be so easy to drive fast safely there. But they also have one of the lowest speed limits in Europe, 100 kmph on the highways during the day! This is partly due to environmental and nitrogen emission concerns, but it is also the butt of many jokes in Europe.

Sunny winter days

Dutch politics was quite interesting too. One, they have some 20-30 national parties as apparently anyone who has a differing point of view can form their own party. As a result, coalition governments are the norm, and forming them can take time given all the divergent views in the country. So quite often, even after elections, it takes a year or two for the next coalition to form, and the caretaker government keeps governing during this period. In the last ten years, caretaker governments have been governing for 3-3.5 of those ten years! Wow! Also, the previous prime minister of the country, Mark Rutte often cycled to work! There are photographs of him across the internet on a simple bike, with no bodyguards. (Coming from India, this is something very difficult to imagine!)

Even though the Dutch are very egalitarian in their outlook, somehow they are comfortable having a royal family. This is quite a paradox and I couldn’t understand it. The Dutch also love their museums. There are some 80-100 museums in Amsterdam alone! And over 400 in the whole country.

Winter nights

Dutch houses are quite unique. With their very narrow staircases, leaning structures, huge windows and so on. Because of the narrow staircases, heavy and huge stuff cannot be taken up through them - that is shifted into a building through the windows! There are metal hooks fixed to all the old buildings which are used for transporting heavy furniture through the windows, using ropes. Some of this has been replaced with machines which can move the furniture from the ground up till the windows. Both these ways are always fascinating to watch. The Dutch also have a love for window cleaning - they are cleaned every month without fail, something very different from the British.

Art in the parks

There is a huge abundance of flower shops and stands in Amsterdam - everywhere. I had six flower shops within a 5 mins walking distance from my place. It may be because of the country being the flower trading hub of the world, either way I loved that. I started buying a lot more flowers for home than I did before. Also, there are many farmer markets across the city and it was a nice experience to buy fresh produce easily.

The Dutch love their beer. In fact, for periods in its history, beer in Amsterdam was cheaper than water and was drunk instead of it as it could be sanitised more easily, while the water, especially from the canals, was infected. Still I think the Dutch drink a lot less than their British neighbours.

They have some unusual traditional sporting events, which don’t exist anywhere else. There is one about sitting on a pole in a canal for as long as possible, known as the paalzitten. And then there is one called the haringhangen, where people cling on to slippery herring fish in the canal, and the one to last the longest is the winner.

The Dutch celebrate Sinterklaas, which is a Dutch festival and was the inspiration for Santa Claus. Now they celebrate both Christmas and Sinterklaas. Sinterklaas comes first, from Spain, on a boat, with his helpers and Piets along with him. And it is only when he leaves by mid-December, that Christmas trees are supposed to be put up in houses and shops. Interestingly, this way, Dutch children get two rounds of gifts in the festive season, from Sinterklaas and then Santa Claus.

Painting at the Rijks

Art is very important for the Dutch. No wonder such a small country had so many greats - Van Gogh, Vermeer, Van Dyck, Rembrandt etc.. Everyone regularly goes to museums and concerts, even children from an early age, to instil this appreciation for art. Also art has influenced a lot of ideas about freedom and expression in the country. And is a part of everyone’s daily life, a lot more than many other places I have visited.


Historical and cultural context

I read a few books about the Netherlands and what led to the country to become what it did. I found some interesting insights which may have shaped the Netherlands of today. Sharing some of these, for interest (or just for fun 😀).

Historically the Netherlands never had a feudal system, as most farmers owned their own land. But they all had to manage water together so they could farm effectively. Because of all that, the society became highly individualistic with relatively less hierarchy in their culture. But the collective also became important as the farmers needed to work together to make the water management work. There is a term for that too, the polder way of working.

Summer evenings

Amsterdam was a very religious city with a strong Protestant influence historically. But it was even then open to other ideas. Even though they were Protestant and religious themselves, they allowed other religions to exist peacefully. This policy of tolerance has always existed in Amsterdam. If it's going to happen, let it happen; and so they chose to regulate many things rather than prohibit them altogether, like prostitution, weed, euthanasia, LGBTQ and so on. Amsterdam in also credited with instilling a lot of its values - diversity, trading mentality, freedom of religion etc.- to New York, as Amsterdam was the inspiration for the city of New York (originally called New Amsterdam).

In the Netherlands, a lot of the other cities don’t really like Amsterdam. There is a perception that people there are too transactional. Amsterdam had initially sided with the Spanish in the Eighty Years War (one of the Dutch Civil Wars), so the rest of the Netherlands still hold it against them. Someone I know in the Netherlands actually called Amsterdam a ‘dump’, asking me why anyone would want to live there 😂. I didn't have the heart to tell him, it's the prettiest place I have ever lived in!

Frozen canals

Given how small the Netherlands is (roughly 300 km by 200 km), it's interesting to see how people across the country see each other as different. The south of the Netherlands is treated as a different culture altogether, a place barely 100 kms away 😂. I met many colleagues who had moved from the south to the north and shared how they had to adjust to a different culture. Having moved from India to the Netherlands, across thousands of kms, I couldn't help but laugh at those comments.

There is also a Bible Belt in the Netherlands, in the central part. And the southern Catholic region is lot more religious too. (The north is quite atheist). The south is famous for hosting the famous and crazy Carnival every year in February. The people from the north love to joke about it. The Dutch also have a healthy rivalry with the Belgians , and love making fun of them. Well they are in the south, so that makes sense 😂.

The taxes in the Netherlands are extremely high with top rates of 49-52%. Still I did not see a single Dutch person complain about it, ever! The Dutch get so much back for their taxes - childcare support, unemployment benefits, subsidised college education, a generous pension, great roads and infrastructure and more - most don’t mind it much. Life is just so much easier and more convenient here, that it feels that the taxes are worth it.

Summer evenings

With all its quirks, Amsterdam and the Netherlands are a unique experience, a must-do at least once in a lifetime. The Netherlands turns up in all the lists of happiest places to live in, and I would agree with it. I loved it, and am so grateful I got a chance to live in such an amazing place.


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